The Struggle is Real

I’ve always experienced a tinge of guilt anytime I have a bad day. Guilt that I don’t feel like my normal, happy self. Guilt that I feel fussy, when in reality I know how incredibly blessed I am. This week though… this week has been a doozy. I’m writing this in the same clothes I had on two days ago. I feel unmotivated and a little bit sad, although it’s been really difficult to pinpoint exactly why. It’s rainy here this week, but I love the rain, so that can’t be it. I’m missing my love who is 6 hours away, but he’s always 6 hours away, so that can’t really be it. My kids have been great this week- getting along- so it’s not your regular “mom” stress. 

Then, this morning it hit me like a mack truck.  Our Bible study this week was about Jesus instructing us to be fishers of men. Mark 1:17 says, “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”  I challenged each of our ladies, myself included, to do some fishing this week. I think God wants us to talk to people in our daily lives about Him, although for some this can mean stepping a bit outside of our comfort zones. I gave them some examples of my past experiences witnessing for Christ, and told them that I’ve even asked God to bring the people directly to me. Like, just open that door a smidge, so I can get a toe in, and then I’ll kick it on open. We’ve been sharing victories and experiences, and plan to revisit this on Monday.

That has to be it. This is the hardest week I’ve had in a very long time, and it just HAPPENS to coincide with the week I’ve committed to sharing the good news of God with others. Coincidence? I don’t think so, not one little bit. Let me tell you a secret… I don’t picture the devil (Satan) as this little, red creature with pointy ears and a pointy tail holding a pitchfork. My spiritual mind envisions the devil as attitudes and words spoken. He comes to us in secret thoughts and quiet deceptions. He typically doesn’t show himself in all of his full-force evilness, because this would scare most discerning people away. He starts gently and softly speaking words of doubt and negativity to us. He hopes to get his claws into us this way. What he can fill your mind with will become what seeps over into your soul, and eventually what comes out of your mouth. The devil gave me a crappy attitude this week. It wasn’t my actual days that were bad, it was how I felt overall. If he can keep me wallowing in self pity- “Oh, poor me, life is so hard sometimes… it’s so unfair…” then I’m not going to be in any state to even want to talk to others about the awesomeness of my God. If he can keep my eyes focused on ME instead of my heavenly duties, then he’s won. Sad to say, I let him have most of the last few days. I’m not proud of it. Today though, things are changing!

Today becomes less Amanda, more JESUS! This is how I want my everyday to be experienced. Let’s not give the devil the upper hand, and sink into his plan for our destruction. You hear everyday that life is too short, and we should make each day count. I completely agree with this in theory. I’m going to be training myself to actually put it into action. 

In closing, a Chris Tomlinson song keeps rolling in the background of my mind as I’m typing today. Let me share it with you. “Our God is Greater” is a wonderful song about the magnitude of the power of our God. I hope you listen and are blessed by it. The struggle is real, friends. We all have struggle most days. Who are we going to listen to?… the devil who wants to pull us down as far as he can, and convince us that there is no promise in our future? Or, do we listen to our God, the Creator of the universe, Who already resides in the future and is waiting for us there with His hand extended out to us? Be blessed, my friends.


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